From where you currently stand as a parent, high school may seem like such a long time ago. The worries you had as a teenager may seem so small in comparison to the worries you now have as an adult. But this doesn’t cancel out your own child’s trepidatious feelings about their teen years. High school can be a very turbulent time for a teenager, and according to research done on high schoolers’ mental health during the COVID-19 pandemic, they may be more prone to intense stress than ever before.

Whether your child is a student in a local MOE school or in one of the international secondary schools in Singapore, it’s a good time to find out about what may be stressing them. Knowing about their chief sources of stress will put you in a better position to help them overcome difficult situations. Below are four potential stress factors for the typical Gen Z teenager, plus how to guide them through contemporary high school problems and towards a happy and healthy school life.

Not Having a Fixed Sense of Purpose

Of the many expectations that teenagers feel they have to live up to, one of the heaviest may be the pressure to be a fully realized person. It will be easy for your high schooler to feel insecure if it seems like everyone else around them has a firm sense of identity and purpose. What if they’re not exactly sure of who they want to be and what they want out of their future?

This is why it’s important for you to reassure your child and tell them it’s okay to be a work in progress. Though the next few years may have an impact on what they want to study next or what kind of career they’ll have, high school isn’t their only chance to discover themselves and their capabilities. Encourage them to explore different things and to take time becoming the person they want to be, even if everyone else seems to be in a rush to do so.

Not Feeling Comfortable in Their Own Bodies

Your teen may also be very stressed about the physical changes that are happening to their person. Teens are naturally very self-conscious about getting bigger or taller, growing body hair, and fitting differently into their clothes. But they may also be worried about being unattractive or unlikable to others because of their appearance or comportment. They may also feel like there’s something wrong with them if other teens seem more self-assured about their bodies than they are.

As a parent, you may be ready to take them through milestones like shaving for the first time or helping them choose products for their everyday hygiene. But don’t neglect the emotional side of your child’s transition into puberty. Let them know that feeling awkward in one’s skin is a more common feeling than they may think. At the same time, offer to help them understand their bodies better—especially when it comes to matters of health, self-expression, and positive self-image.

Not Doing Well Enough in School

Many high schoolers want to be able to stand out from others in a positive way, with one of the most prominent avenues being their academic performance. Without knowing it, a student may be assuming an unhealthy amount of pressure on themselves to be an overachiever and to beat out their classmates. This may lead to other problems like anxiety or academic burnout.

Every parent wants their child to do well in school, but no parent wants a child’s academic performance to come at such a cost. One of the things that you can model as a parent is how to strike work-life balance, as well as how to let this balance guide your child’s actions. It would also be good to teach them how to navigate complex situations like failing at something or feeling jealous of other people—both of which are perfectly normal experiences and possible to overcome with enough emotional fortitude and support.

Peer Pressure

Teenagers also worry about fitting into their communities and being accepted by their immediate peers. Unfortunately, some may feel pressured to go the extra mile to please others—like by bullying another person or agreeing to take substances like alcohol. To teens who’ll encounter those situations for the first time, they may feel like they have to choose between a rock and a hard place. It’s either they give in to peer pressure to do something that makes them uncomfortable, or they sacrifice their reputation and social standing among other students.

It’s a pretty hard pill for a parent to swallow, but your child may go through situations like this when they’re in high school. You should acknowledge peer pressure as a valid source of stress, but at the same time, you should also encourage your child to stay true to their moral compass. Guide them through the difficult, but necessary lesson of doing the right thing and following their principles. It may be stressful for them to say no to their peers, but in the long run, they’ll have fewer regrets about how they lived their school lives and who they made friends with.

Some Last Tips for Helping Your High Schooler with Stress

Your high schooler will have quite the time ahead of them in the next few years. Apart from easing into post-pandemic school life,they’ll have to deal with the usual ups and downs of teenhood. This is when they’ll need the wisdom and unconditional support of the adults in their lives. Having lived through some of these experiences yourself, meet your child from a place of empathy and understanding.

Let your child know that they can talk to you anytime, especially about difficult things, and that they don’t have to face tough situations alone. Not only will this give them great comfort during their teen years; it will help them mature into a resilient, kind, and compassionate young adult that your whole family can be proud of.